Worried? There’s uncertainty? This activity will help you get your control back!

I remember a few instances in life where I lost it all. I found myself in the deep end with life, health, relationships, career, purpose, everything. If you are in a similar boat, welcome on board! I can reassure you one thing, if you change the way you approach challenges and barriers a lot can change. 

Looking back, I’m grateful for the experiences, downfalls and lessons learned because ohhh boyy!!! There were many. 

Last time I used the below activity was when my arthritis was continuously flaring up. I think it was going on for a month and I couldn’t bear it. So I sat down and used the below. 

Let me tell you a little more about the activity and then maybe we can both complete it in your own time!

What is the circle of control? 

Stephen Covey’s book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People inspired this way of thinking where the focus must be on the circle of control. All issues, according to Covey, fall into one of two rings:

  • The Circle of Concern represents everything that troubles or concerns us. We don’t have much influence over these issues.
  • The Circle of Influence represents everything we can control or affect somehow. Your Circle of Influence is usually contained inside your Circle of Concern, leaving you with an area you are concerned about yet unable to alter.
Below is a visual example. 

Instead of just talking about the activity I will take you through it! 

  1. Get a peace of paper and a pen
  2. You draw a big circle and then a smaller one inside the big circle like below: 

 

You label the big circle ‘things I cannot control’ and the small circle ‘things I can control’. See below:

4. Choose your challenge or problem that you have been dealing with recently. Something that is uncertain, worries you and you are struggling to make it better or to feel better.

For example:

Organisations: Decline in sales for the past 3 months…

Individuals: My anxiety is through the roof recently / I feel really down / I’m tired of my job/ need to change careers

Young people: This is my last year in school and I am really nervous about the exams

Chronic pain warriors: My pain has been through the roof recently and it’s really hard.. 

This is all about you! Take your time and pick one area that is really affecting you right now. 

For the purpose of this exercise my topic will be: ‘My arthritis flare ups are really bad and it’s starting to affect my life a lot more’ 

 

5. The next step is to complete our circles! We will start with the bigger one, below are some questions to help you:

– List everything that is out of your control when it comes to your challenge

– Here we are listing things like; politics, COVID-19, the economy, financial obligations (e..g rent), what other people do, how others treat me, other people’s choices, and things from the past. You list everything that is influencing your challenge and making it harder for you to do something about it. 

Once you are done, your circle should look something like this (now remember I used my challenge so your ideas will be different to mine). 

6. When we spent some time observing what is not in our control we move onto the smaller circle and fill it in with ‘what is in our control’ when it comes to the challenges. 

For example:
– What can you do to make it better?
– When can you do it?
– What else can you try?
-Be extremely specific and list everything that you can do and everything that is in your control!
– Do some research on google
– think outside the box
– list all small and big ideas

Once you complete your circle if should look similar to the below:

I always suggest making the smaller circle a little bigger, only because you have so many more things that are within your control. In our control is how we think, how we feel and what we do with our thoughts and feelings and there is so much we can usually do. 

 

Once you completed the exercise, the whole idea is to focus on what you can control and start from today! 

 

I suggest turning to this activity whenever you are in a worried state or things seem to be out of your control and are causing uncertainty. 

This attitude isn’t just appropriate for combating worry. It’s also a solid principle to take into all areas of your life. After all, what better way to be productive than to cut out the time spent on things that you have minimal control over.

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