We all know what it’s like to want to make a change — to feel that burst of motivation after reading a wellness article, starting a new challenge, or joining a programme. But within a few weeks (sometimes days), that spark fades. Life gets busy. Energy dips. Habits slip.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. It’s not a lack of willpower — it’s simply how human behaviour works. Sustainable change isn’t just about motivation; it’s about meaning. And that’s where finding your ‘why’ comes in.
From Motivation to Meaning
Motivation is like a match — it can light the way, but it doesn’t keep the fire burning. What sustains change is connection to personal values — the deeper reasons that make our choices feel purposeful and authentic.
In Masterful Health & Wellness Coaching, Michael Arloski reminds us that wellness is not about quick fixes; it’s a life transformation process. Coaches don’t give advice — they help clients reconnect with their inner drive, uncovering the beliefs, values, and goals that truly matter.
In the same way, the NHS Personalised Care model encourages people to move from “What’s the matter with you?” to “What matters to you?” It’s a powerful shift. Because when health goals are grounded in personal meaning, they become not just achievable — but deeply fulfilling.
Why External Motivation Doesn’t Last
External motivation — things like targets, appearance goals, or guilt-driven change — can spark action but rarely sustain it. We see this every January: gyms fill up, diets start, wellness apps spike… and then fizzle out.
This is because external motivation relies on pressure, not purpose. It often fuels perfectionism and comparison, leading to burnout or self-criticism when things don’t go as planned.
Intrinsic motivation, on the other hand, comes from within. It’s about why you want to feel better, not just how. Maybe you want more energy to play with your children. Maybe you want to walk without pain, sleep through the night, or feel calmer at work. These deeper reasons become the anchor that holds you steady when motivation wobbles.
The Coaching Perspective: Discovering Your ‘Why’
As a coach, my role isn’t to tell you what to do — it’s to create a space where you can discover your own best answers. Through motivational interviewing and reflective dialogue, we explore the gap between where you are and where you want to be, with curiosity rather than judgment.
Motivational interviewing is built on four key principles:
1) Express empathy – understanding where someone is, without pushing.
2) Develop discrepancy – helping you see the difference between your current reality and your desired future.
3) Roll with resistance – recognising ambivalence as part of the process, not failure.
4) Support self-efficacy – strengthening your belief that you can change.
When we connect these principles with coaching, we create a process of gentle accountability — one that honours autonomy and builds confidence step by step.
Mini Self-Coaching Exercise: Finding Your ‘Why’
Grab a notebook or your phone notes app — take five minutes for yourself.
1) List three reasons you want to make a particular change.
(For example: “I want to eat more nourishing foods,” or “I want to feel more active.”)
2) For each reason, ask:
“Why does this matter to me?”
“How would my life feel different if I achieved it?”
3) Now highlight the reason that feels most meaningful.
This is your why — your deeper purpose for change.
When you’re clear on this, your actions begin to align naturally. You’re not forcing habits; you’re honouring what matters to you.
The Bigger Picture: From Personal Meaning to Public Health
At a system level, personalised care and health coaching play a crucial role in public health transformation. When individuals connect to their why, they:
-
engage more actively in their care plans,
-
make healthier choices that last,
-
and feel more empowered in managing long-term conditions.
This doesn’t just improve personal wellbeing — it reduces health inequalities and supports community resilience. As the NHS Universal Personalised Care framework shows, empowering people to take ownership of their health is essential for a sustainable, compassionate healthcare system.
Every conversation that starts with curiosity — every person who rediscovers their why — contributes to that wider shift.
Progress Over Perfection
Finding your why isn’t a one-time exercise. It evolves as you do. Some days your motivation will feel strong; other days, it might disappear. That’s okay. What matters is returning to your purpose — gently, consistently, compassionately.
Because lasting wellbeing isn’t about chasing goals — it’s about living in alignment with what truly matters to you.
Reflection Prompt:
What’s one meaningful reason behind a change you’d like to make — and what’s one small step you could take this week to honour it?
Leave Your Comment